


Canadian Government Mountie Season Regulations

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Gen, Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-05-06
Updated: 1999-05-06
Packaged: 2018-11-10 22:00:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11135538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: The "rules" regarding how to catch a Mountie





	Canadian Government Mountie Season Regulations

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

Canadian Government Mountie Season Regulations

# Canadian Government Mountie Season Regulations
    
    
     GENERAL
    1. Any person with a valid Mountie hunting license may harvest Mounties.
    2. Capture of Mounties with traps is permitted. The use of drowned caribou
    as bait is prohibited.
    3. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest Mounties from National Parks
    and designated Mountie reserves.
    4. It shall be unlawful to shout "help" or "whose wolf is this" for the
    purpose of trapping Mounties.     
    5. It shall be unlawful to hunt Mounties within 100 feet of government
    buildings.
    6. It shall be unlawful to herd Mounties using women in scanty lingerie,
    since this causes Mounties to stampede in fright.
    7. It shall be unlawful to hunt Mounties within 200 feet of libraries,
    police stations, lingerie shops, special interest group offices, bars,
    or strip joints. 8. Stuffed or mounted Mounties must have a Health Department
    inspection certificate for rabies and vermin.       
    9. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise as an oversexed sister
    of a Chicago cop, old lady trying to cross the street, ice hockey player,
    caribou, attractive bank robber, or escaped felon for the purpose of
    hunting Mounties. 10. Captive Mounties prefer dark surroundings. Some
    have been known to carry nesting material around with them. Usually they
    are easy to tame. If the Mountie is to be kept a permit must be acquired.
    
    BAG LIMITS
    Sub-Species: Mountius oldfartus     Limit:  EXTINCT 
    Sub-Species: Mountius boyscoutus (often seen crossing roads with old
    ladies) Limit: 3
    Sub-Species: Mountius hubbahubbaus or "Big Red" (identify by its blue
    eyes, muscular physique, signature cry "thankyoukindly", tends to flee
    if the word "sex" is mentioned, found in the company of wolves and at
    least one of the grouchy species Chicagocopus crankus) 
    Limit:  1, live capture only    
    Notes:  Very, very difficult to catch. Captive breeding next to impossible.
    
    Addenda: Humane capture of Mounties
    The species Mountius hubbahubbaus (or 'Big Red') is often found in the
    Canadian snow fields, but tend to have difficulty keeping their footing
    in this environment. This is often the best time to net one, when they
    are lying on their backs in the snow giggling uncontrollably, or rescue
    one after he has fallen into a lake.
    
    SEASON TIMES: Winter and autumn only. Mounties shed their distinctive
    red plumage during the warmer months and can be mistaken for other, less
    desirable species.
    
    Regulations released by F. Scott, Commander-in-Chief, International Mountie
    Control (IMC)
    =================================================================== By
    the way, the production office has a version of this..... hee hee 
    
    FIona :)
    
    Fiona.Scott@smtpgwy.agric.nsw.gov.au
    

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